NewTown.

FINALLY I moved in my new apartment! Today was suuuch a long day, but Mom and I are over halfway done with the place. Only two more days until school starts. I'm totally freaking out! Mom and I went with another friend of mine to a welcome back-type dinner at the student center. I don't think I've ever felt more out of place. I have 10 piercings and feathers in my hair, and all the girls I saw didn't have feathers and only two piercings. This is going to be really awkward.

Last night was really fun! B and I went to our old hookah haunt in the big city to go have one last hurrah. Some of my ex's and my mutual friends were there. After awhile, the girl that was having the get together (she was leaving for college as well) came over and told B and me to come sit with her. I told her I wasn't really sure how things were going to be with everyone since me and "him" broke up, but then she said something that really meant a lot to me: "They're your friends, too." I've never had that reassurance before, and it felt really good to hear that.

The downsides of being an ex is that I feel like I'm being spied on all the time now. It's absolutely not fair. I feel like I can't do anything anymore without being talked about behind my back. This move just makes things worse because I'm not around to try to set things right. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I know it's stupid and most people probably don't give two shits about us breaking up, but I feel like I'm going to be coming back to nothing when I go home to visit, and that scares me.

I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I should probably go to bed.

This is me, and I'm just alive.