I got the official rejection letter from the nursing school in my previous post. However, I have appointments with three other schools to see them over spring break! I'm actually REALLY pumped! I also made the highest grade on a medical terminology exam that I've ever made. Maybe I can pull off an A in a sophomore-in-medical-school-level class!
Some of my friends came over last night and all we did was watch stupid YouTube videos and smoke hookah. We were so slaphappy that we could not stop laughing to save our lives! I had the best time with them =]
Today was rainy and icky. I had only one class today, which thankfully went quickly. I went to the university's salon, which has tanning beds (yes, I do fake bake. But hey, it makes my skin all pretty! And I'm not an obsessive tanner; I don't want to look like a carrot). As I lay out in that wonderful warm bed, I started to think about the past couple of weeks. I've decided that I'm not really going to concern myself with where I go to school anymore. Now it's just a matter of who likes me enough to accept me. I have also come to the realization that there are people that I can trust out there, it's just a matter of me letting them in. I've also realized that there's some people in my life that just aren't who they used to be, and I don't need that.
I started planning for what would happen if I did wind up moving out of state for school. I'm surprisingly comfortable with the idea of moving to a whole other city in order to get my degree. I'm starting to like this option more and more, mainly because it would get me out of this dramatic hellhole that I'm in now. The only sucky part would be moving away from all of my friends that are very near and dear to me.
I had some very strange and scary dreams last night (I didn't really sleep well, but when do I ever sleep anymore?). I thought about those, too. I haven't the slightest clue where they came from, but I thought about those situations and realized that soon they could become very real. Sounds unnerving, right? I'm not the least bit scared. After thinking for a solid 15 minutes, the "come back to earth" beeping on the bed sounded before turning off, forcing me back into the gray world that is Anytown, USA.
On the bus ride back to my apartment, I decided that it's completely pointless for me to linger on thoughts of days and years past. For the first time in my life, I'm starting to let go. I'm letting go of everything that's happened to me in the past, both recent and long term. Painful memories are leaving me forevermore. I have never felt so liberated and whole in my life. I have finally found my silver lining.
This is me, and I'm just alive.
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