Happy Hump Day!

It's Wednesday! I've had an incredibly good week so far, and I'm really pumped tomorrow because I'm leaving the iPhone clan and joining the ANDROID REVOLUTION! Needless to say, I'm pretty damn stoked.

I'm procrastinating writing a very large lab report that's due tomorrow for micro lab. I also have finance homework, but our professor gave us the answers for it in lecture today, so I'm not too terribly concerned about it.

I've been watching governments collapse in the Middle East since Lebanon, and some of the pictures coming out of those war zones are unbelievable. I'm so thankful that we don't have to go through that kind of horror and destruction in order to have change in our nation. We, as Americans, are truly blessed to live where we do, even if it's not perfect.

I'm beginning to become content with myself. I feel so at peace, it's ridiculous. I'm really happy where I'm at, and I have Boyfriend, BFF, and other friends to thank for this happiness. I'm learning not to care what others say anymore, especially if it's way beyond true. I know I'm not "dull" or "a stuck-up bitch." No, in fact, I'm not dull, and I sure as hell am not stuck-up. I'm probably one of the more interesting people you will find in Anytown, USA. I don't like stupid people, and I love the diversity among my friends because they constantly teach me new things. I don't think I'm smokin' hot, I don't flaunt my belongings, and I don't brag about what I have versus what you don't have. Does that sound dull or stuck-up at all???

I guess my main point was to say that you shouldn't care. I know you've probably heard that time and again, but it's true. Stop caring, quit stressing, and go have some fun! You've got one life, now live it, damnit!

This is me, and I'm just alive.e

Manic Monday!

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's back to school we go! YUCK! I had a really productive day today, and I hope this keeps up throughout the rest of the semester. Lord only knows that I need to quit procrastinating! BFF and another friend are over now just watching Hawaii 5-0. I made chocolate chip pancakes and eggs for dinner and we're gonna smoke hookah in a bit.

Spring break was a little exciting for me. Boyfriend and I got to hang out for a bit most days. We went to the car auction on Wednesday and saw Battle: Los Angeles on Thursday. (That's a pretty epic movie if you haven't seen it yet.) Friday, BFF and I went and did some recon around our old high school. We had a blast catching up with our teachers. It's really weird to see the kids that were freshmen when we were seniors all grown up. Kinda makes me feel old and outdated. Anyways, we went to the JROTC unit and saw the cadre commander and he took us to the air rifle range. I did pretty well, considering it was my first time shooting!

I also got to spend the majority of Saturday and all of Sunday with Boyfriend, which was really nice. I'm really glad that things are back to (almost) normal with us. We're going to have to work really hard over these next couple of years in order to maintain our relationship, and I'm ready for the challenge.

I was thinking about a lot of things today. After Boyfriend and I got back together, I realized just how few true friends I have in Anytown and the big city. I really can't wait to go to NewTown to start my new life as a nursing student.

I should go make that hookah now. I'm sorry that this blog has gotten somewhat drab. I'm sure I'll have more philosophical stuff one of these days.

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Spring break so far...

Is not awesome. I got a TB skin test and a meningitis shot yesterday, which wasn't a whole lot of fun. I also got proper shoes for nursing school in the fall! They were expensive, but I know it will be worth it. I got to hang out with BF today, which was pretty exciting. We went to the car auction for his dad's dealership and had lunch, then I came home. Now BFF is sleeping on the couch next to me (she's pretty sick, boo!).

Norooz was pretty fun. BF actually danced for once, which made the Persian New Year all the more special =D We ate sooooo much kabob after the party was over! Monday, we woke up and did some work at the dealership, ate more Persian food, then came home. It's so nice to be able to spend time with him without all the pressures of working on school 24/7.

I don't have too much planned for the rest of this week, just getting some other work finished up and then a concert on Saturday (yay!).

I don't have anything profound to say today. I just wanted to blog XD.

This is me, and I'm just alive.

How much can change in a week?

A lot.

I got back with "him" last Sunday, and honestly I couldn't have made a better decision. I really missed him, and after four weeks it was still really hard to move on. After seeing "him" Saturday at the hookah bar, it really hit me that I still loved him and that I wasn't ready to move on.

Now along to the rest of the week...

I skipped most of my classes this week, which is bad, but not too much was going on, so I don't feel so bad. The week before spring break is always really hard for everyone because of midterms. I was lucky to only have one midterm on Wednesday.

I sent in my deposit for nursing school this week! I'm officially signed with my new university. I absolutely cannot wait to get out of Anytown, USA. I may be transferring to NewTown (that's what we'll call my new place) over the summer so I can take some classes. The people at NewTown University (my new university) have really worked with me to get around the six prerequisites I'm missing. I only have to take two classes over the summer! I'll try to take three or four; we'll see what happens. I'm planning to go look at apartments with my mom on Thursday. I AM SO EXCITED!!

This weekend, Boyfriend, his friend, and I took off to another town south of Anytown for a wedding. We had to drive and got here at about 2AM on Saturday morning! We were all exhausted. Saturday was the wedding, and now I'm sitting here blogging after a whole week of going without talking to you guys. Boyfriend's friend is still asleep and we were supposed to check out 20 minutes ago! Hellooooooo late fees!

Tonight we have another party for the Persian New Year (Norooz). I'm really excited for it! It's my first big Persian celebration. Gonna have a blast!!

This is me, and I'm just alive.

BFF weekend dish!

Happy Sunday! Sorry I didn't get to blog yesterday, things got way too busy and the internet I had sucked big time, but now I'm using the internet in the lobby so it's all good! BFF's conference is going well. We have had the best time here in the city! Enough of that for now. Let's back up to Friday night.

Friday night wasn't all that awesome. BFF and I went with some old friends to a hookah bar in Anytown. We got all fixed up and our friends basically ditched us to go to the club on the lower level of the building where the hookah bar is. BFF and I met another friend there. He brought his girlfriend (who just happens to be such a beautiful girl! Lovely blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, I'm so jealous!) Tangent over. We hung out for a bit, did the Cupid Shuffle, then BFF and I left for my place.

Enter Saturday morning, 0730. Alarm clock goes off, we rush out the door and head to the big city. Our bed in the hotel was a king size sleep number bed! I took a three hour nap, then took BFF to lunch. After her conference was over with for the day, we went to dinner and then got ready for the hookah bar.

We took some of BFF's new coworkers and met up with B. Almost immediately, the owner gets BFF and I up to dance. I haven't had that much fun in forever! I was having a total blast until "he" showed up. "He" was so mad about something and I seriously thought he was drunk. Apparently he was really pissed about my dancing with other guys. Come on, I think it's ok for me to dance after being single for four weeks! Especially when the guys don't even know me and we weren't even touching! One of them is obviously GAY! Rant over.

"He" left in a huff, I calmed down and danced the night away, got plenty of stares and winks. After totally exhausting ourselves with the amount of fun that was had, BFF and I went to one of her coworker's hotel room and chilled out for a bit. DST hit and 2 became 3 and we went back to our room. Our next door neighbors had decided it was a great time to throw a party. The walls were paper thin, so we could hear everything crystal clear. 0430 rolled around and the music and yelling FINALLY stopped. Sleep, a crappy continental breakfast, packing and lunch with mom later, and I'm sitting in the lobby waiting for BFF to be done with her conference and then we'll be headed back to the hookah joint for awhile.

I feel like this is a super long blog, but I wanted you all to know about my epic weekend! Plus, getting out of town was such a relief. I don't want to go back to Anytown at all! But after this week is spring break, so I think I'll survive =P

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Friday, May 11

It's FRIDAY! We made it!

First thing I woke up to this morning was the horrible news about Japan. I urge all of you to text "Japan" to 90999 to make a $10 donation to the Red Cross in their relief effort. Hundreds are already dead, millions have lost everything. Pray your guts out!

Today went extremely well. Classes weren't boring at all. Finance professor decided to take a trip to Panama City, so we had a really entertaining guest speaker today. My microbiology exam wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Finished in 17 minutes! This class is such a joke.The weather was SO nice today! 72 degrees, sunny, with a light breeze (cue angelic AHHHHHHH here). I couldn't help but call people up and sit on the porch and smoke. Soooooo needed!

Tonight promises to be really good. Catching up with old friends at the local hookah joint has been a plan of mine for a couple of weeks, and now it's finally coming to fruition! The BFF and I are so so so pumped!

Tomorrow we head out to the big city for BFF's work conference. Tomorrow night will be a night filled with dancing and laughter and pure awesomeness.

I don't really have any philosophical thoughts for today. I haven't been thinking about anything significant today, which is AMAZING and so relieving. All I want to do is go out with my friends tonight and relive the good ole days. I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about tomorrow!

Be safe tonight! I want all of you reading my new post tomorrow!

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Blog #2 for the day!

I had a random comment on my blog from someone named "randomguy," and I thought I'd address it. He kept reiterating that he was "just a random guy." Either 1) this person thinks they're TOTALLY not obvious at the fact that they really aren't random or 2) this person really is just a random guy that likes to point out that he's a random guy.

To answer your statement, "randomguy," I'm not totally over "him." I ended the relationship before either one of us was ready for it to be over. I am working diligently to learn to live without him and teach myself that I am ok being on my own. It sucks breaking up after dating for so long, and it hurts. A lot. I said that I was beginning to let the relationship go, not that I was completely over him and ready to say "HELLO WORLD! I AM SINGLE AND READY TO ROCK AND ROLL!" No. No no no.

I was asked on a date today, and I realized that I'm not ready to go on dates just yet, and I felt horrible for turning the guy down. I knew in my heart that I wouldn't be totally into it and that it would just be downright painful for me. In the end, it was for the best, and one day I will be able to date again. Just not right now. Too many things went so wrong that I just need time to heal.

This blog is meant for me to 1) vent and 2) share my story so that others know that it's ok to miss someone once you break it off. It's ok to cry your eyes out and grieve for a while. It's ok to be sad, but you also need to know that life does go on and you WILL move on, but only if you let yourself. My prayer is that this blog illustrates my journey through school, love, and life and that others will see themselves in me, and learn from my mistakes and can use my good decisions to help them succeed when they're in the same situation.

If you take issue with that, then too damn bad. I won't stop being honest. I won't stop sharing my story.

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Thank God It's...Thursday?

Today was BEAUTIFUL outside! My lab was really short (thank heaven!) and I've been procrastinating studying for my microbiology exam tomorrow. Tomorrow is supposed to be super duper nice and I cannot wait!!! Hellooooooo hookah on the balcony!

I was Facebook stalking "him" again today. His best friend, who just happened to step out of his life in a very flamboyant and unnecessary way MONTHS ago, had just recently told him that she's "SO glad" he's back in her life. This is coming from the same girl who posted a whole ranting status about how funny it was when someone ignores you once they get a girlfriend or boyfriend, but once they leave that significant other, they come crawling back. Might I mention that this status was posted right after "him" and her had gotten into an argument a few weeks after we had gotten together. Strange how some people work. I will never understand some people.

I've been thinking today about what I want in a relationship. Of course, there's always tall, dark, and handsome, but what about personality? Every (and I mean EVERY) guy I have ever dated has had some maturity issues. I don't want to raise a boy, I need a MAN! Come on, girls, we need MEN! We deserve MEN that genuinely care for us and not our bodies. We deserve MEN that don't push us into doing something we are uncomfortable with. We deserve MEN that can think for themselves and don't have all these stupid emotional issues that come with your average Joe. We deserve MEN, not boys! We deserve better, and I don't think enough women tell themselves that.

I can't freakin wait for this weekend! Tomorrow night and Saturday night look extremely promising for some epic times!

I may blog again later tonight...

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Yackk.

This quote was on Twitter today: "The truth is, what we call interruptions are precisely our real life, the life God is sending us day by day." C.S. Lewis.

I need the weekend to be here sooner. OMGGG! This week has been kind of difficult. Damn. I've been in an irritable mood all day. Maybe it's the cloudy grayness that's giving me cabin fever.

Today wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I woke up with a fantastic headache, so I slept through my first class. I went to my second class, tanned, then went to my third class. After that, I bought some shisha, then went home and waited for my friend to come over.

I had some very good conversations with my friend today. Let's call her "B". It was so nice to be able to relate to someone who is going through close to the exact same things I'm going through now. I sincerely hope that her and I become good friends. I keep kicking myself that I never became friends with her sooner.

I haven't heard from "him" in two days. I'm sort of concerned, but also really relieved. I honestly think I'm starting to let this relationship go, even though I wasn't ready to break it off. Talking with B helped me remember why I made the decision that I did and that I did it to keep ME safe.

However, I've been Facebook stalking him religiously and I'm seriously surprised at this girl that's totally jumped on him. Apparently she's "very wise," and they've been talking for awhile. I'm not really sure what my emotions are about this particular situation, but I'm trying to ignore it. Instead, I'm going to go to the city with my girls this weekend and go show off my dance skills at my favorite hookah bar.

I really should go do my homework. I have a big lab report due tomorrow and I haven't even started it yet. Whoops!

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Ultraviolet Reflections

Good evening, world.

I got the official rejection letter from the nursing school in my previous post. However, I have appointments with three other schools to see them over spring break! I'm actually REALLY pumped! I also made the highest grade on a medical terminology exam that I've ever made. Maybe I can pull off an A in a sophomore-in-medical-school-level class!

Some of my friends came over last night and all we did was watch stupid YouTube videos and smoke hookah. We were so slaphappy that we could not stop laughing to save our lives! I had the best time with them =]

Today was rainy and icky. I had only one class today, which thankfully went quickly. I went to the university's salon, which has tanning beds (yes, I do fake bake. But hey, it makes my skin all pretty! And I'm not an obsessive tanner; I don't want to look like a carrot). As I lay out in that wonderful warm bed, I started to think about the past couple of weeks. I've decided that I'm not really going to concern myself with where I go to school anymore. Now it's just a matter of who likes me enough to accept me. I have also come to the realization that there are people that I can trust out there, it's just a matter of me letting them in. I've also realized that there's some people in my life that just aren't who they used to be, and I don't need that.

I started planning for what would happen if I did wind up moving out of state for school. I'm surprisingly comfortable with the idea of moving to a whole other city in order to get my degree. I'm starting to like this option more and more, mainly because it would get me out of this dramatic hellhole that I'm in now. The only sucky part would be moving away from all of my friends that are very near and dear to me.

I had some very strange and scary dreams last night (I didn't really sleep well, but when do I ever sleep anymore?). I thought about those, too. I haven't the slightest clue where they came from, but I thought about those situations and realized that soon they could become very real. Sounds unnerving, right? I'm not the least bit scared. After thinking for a solid 15 minutes, the "come back to earth" beeping on the bed sounded before turning off, forcing me back into the gray world that is Anytown, USA.

On the bus ride back to my apartment, I decided that it's completely pointless for me to linger on thoughts of days and years past. For the first time in my life, I'm starting to let go. I'm letting go of everything that's happened to me in the past, both recent and long term. Painful memories are leaving me forevermore. I have never felt so liberated and whole in my life. I have finally found my silver lining.

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Why, hello there strangers!

Hello World.

You probably have no idea who I am, and I'm totally ok with that. I'm your typical college sophomore who hates school and loves her friends just a bit too much. I'm a pre-nursing student and praying to God I get into a nursing program. I'm a magnet for creepy boys and terrible situations. My best friend shares my first name and we're twins. Seriously.

I'm not really one to trust people pretty easily, but I hope that this anonymous world will help me learn that not all people are bad. I've recently gone through (yet another) terrible breakup and have decided that relationships aren't my niche. I just need to find that one guy that'll change everything.

My top choice for nursing schools rejected me today, and I'm upset about that. I'm feeling like I can't win while I'm here at this school. This town (let's call it Anytown, USA), has not been what I've expected. I'm so tired of being pressured to drink and be a whore with people I barely know. I need a change.

I've recently connected with some people that I haven't spoken to in awhile (or ever, for that matter) and am starting to fully realize that there's more to life than this stupid hicktown. I can't get out of here fast enough!

I don't really feel like writing anymore. I know it's not much, but heck, it's a start.

This is me, and I'm just alive.

PS- I just got done editing everything. This website is obnoxious to navigate.