Time goes by...

...so freaking fast! I can't believe it's already the end of October. Where has this year gone??

I guess you could tell that I've been super busy with school. Things just keep piling up and it's starting to get really overwhelming. I feel like I'm hanging on to my sanity by my hookah hose. It's definitely been tough, but I'm so close to the end of this semester that I can't quit now!

New guy and I decided to just be friends. We're both super busy (me with school, him with baseball). I was actually really relieved to have that off my plate. I don't think I could handle much more of anything after these past couple of weeks.

I got to visit my best friend of all time a few weeks ago. I haven't seen him since March, so it was really nice to get together and catch up. I finally got to hang out with some Middle Eastern people. I felt right at home!

I went back to AnyTown last weekend for my fraternity initiation. I had soooo much fun reconnecting with all of my brothers and sisters. I came to the realization how alone I feel in NewTown and I did NOT want to leave Anytown! I cried almost the whole way home. I know I don't have much longer till I can move back to the big city, but Spring 2013 seems like an extremely long time right now.

I made some new friends this week, too. I went to my friend's hometown and met all of her crew and they really opened up to me, which was such a huge surprise. I have never felt so accepted since I moved to NewTown. I really hope I get to see them more often. It's really cool to see a group of friends that are as tight knit as my fraternity family is. Good to know there's still a lot of love to give out there =]

I've been feeling homesick lately (if you can't already tell). It's still really hard being here without all my old friends. I try my hardest to keep in contact with them, but sometimes texting just doesn't cut it. I need to get a job so I can go visit more often. I really thought I'd be able to walk away and cut everyone/everything off, but it hasn't been quite that easy.

Wise words of the post:

"He who plants thorns must never expect to gather roses." Don't ever think that getting on people's bad side will get you anywhere. Creating enemies will never do you any good. One might think that having enemies and doing everything you can to live better than them and make sure they know it is the way to go, but it'll only come back to bite you in the butt. There's wayyyy better things you could be using your energy on.

On another note, please please please be careful when partying this weekend. Know your limits, and if someone you know gets sick, DO NOT hesitate to get them some help. You don't want to be attending a funeral because you didn't want a friend to get mad at you for taking them to a hospital. I want all of you reading my next post!

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Home, sweet home.

FINALLY I got to come home for a weekend! It feels so good to be back among civilization and culture and population! I came home Friday and just hung out with my mom. We went out to Cracker Barrel for dinner and watched TV for the rest of the night. Yesterday I woke up rather late, but I did get a little bit of work done. I got my hair cut and colored in Anytown. It looks so much better! Then I went to the big city to hang out with my friends. L and I went to a brand new hookah bar, then went to the regular joint. My ex popped up, which was kind of awkward at first, but I was so excited to be back in my niche that I forgot he was even there until he left.

L and I smoked hookah for awhile, then the owner played music and got me up to dance, so I danced my skinny butt off! I pulled some friends up with me, and we went for a solid 20 minutes! I was so sweaty and tired after that, but I had so much fun that I didn't really care. It felt so good to dance again! I didn't realize how much I missed it until last night. After a short break, the owner played again and I got to dance with some BEAUTIFUL Sudanese girls and these two really geeky white guys. I thought I was going to die of laughter when a broom handle we were using as a dance prop got handed off to one of the guys. I loved his enthusiasm!

One of my old high school friends showed up while I was on the floor. It was really good to see her for a bit. I got to see soooo many people that I haven't seen for weeks (in one case, several months!). I'm sad that I have to go back to Newtown tomorrow, but I'm working on coming home for Halloween weekend. I already miss everyone terribly, and I haven't even left yet.

Wise words of the post:

"Realize that the world is a school and you are here to learn." So learn, darnit! If something isn't working out for you, then stop doing it! If it isn't working out for someone else, then chances are it isn't going to work for you, either. I'm learning a lot about people that I never thought would be a part of their personality, and I'm also seeing people change because of their (sometimes very recent) past. Some awful and wonderful things have come out of their experiences, some people have risen above it, some don't realize they're about to hit rock bottom. Look around you! You and I have so many teachers and we don't even take advantage of it! So work hard, study hard, and for God's sake, realize that all play and no work is going to get you absolutely nowhere.

This is me, and I'm just alive.

I woke up because September ended.

I thought it was a clever October title =D

Weeeeellll my exams went really well! I didn't fail any of them, which is awesome! I think I'm starting to get a hold of all this nursing stuff.

Clinicals start in two days!! I'm so excited to go interview my patient tomorrow. It's gonna be great! Having Thursdays off is going to be a great bonus as well. No more 10 hour classes for us!

I've been really unproductive this weekend, but I think I deserve it considering I've lived in the library for the past two weeks. This week is looking to be similar, but I'm starting to get used to it.

New guy and I have been able to hang out a lot this weekend. Friday, we just looked through old photos on my computer. I cooked dinner for him yesterday (thank goodness it turned out well!) and we watched Grey's Anatomy. I had such a good time with him! I am a total believer in the saying "something good comes around when you least expect it."

I read something on Rev Run's twitter the other day. "When the past calls, push the ignore button. It has NOTHING new to say!" I had a bit of a moment the other day where I felt really homesick and wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be, but then I read that advice and realized I am so much better off. I'm moving forward with my life and I'm becoming a better person day by day. I'm still learning to love myself, but it's certainly becoming easier every day when I'm rewarded with good grades and all the amazing new friends I have made throughout this journey in NewTown.

I suppose I should finish cleaning and do some homework. Three exams next week and I haven't studied one bit!

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Update!

The most stressful week of nursing school so far is halfway over, and one exam got moved to next week! Super exciting for me!! My first test this week was in Assessment, and I got an 84% on it! However, pathophysiology brought my great mood down the next day. I'm pretty sure I failed my second exam in that class. I called my mom and cried after I was done. I have never felt so hopeless while taking an exam. I talked to some of my classmates and my mentor, and they had the same complaints as I did. I can't believe I studied SO HARD and did so poorly! What am I doing wrong??

I went grocery shopping today. My kitchen was so empty that even my fridge was hungry! Since I only have one homework assignment and one exam for Friday, I can relax a little. I swear I'll sleep for a week after my Interventions exam on Friday.

DISH TIME!!

New guy and I have been talking ever since Thursday morning. He is such a sweet guy! He's so personable and easy to talk to!  Meeting him has been such an encouragement. He's been incredibly supportive through this week (which I know I've been grumpy, which is not an easy thing to deal with!).  We went to the movies over the weekend and I got to meet some of his teammates. We had a pretty good time. My nursing friends like him quite a bit, which is a biiiiig bonus! I enjoy his company quite a bit and I hope I get to know him better over the next couple of weeks.

I'm so sorry this is short for a week-long update, I just HAD to tell you what was going on!! I'm heading back to the library in a few minutes. I've been in there so much lately that someone suggested that I bring a cot and sleep there!

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Time out!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you know that I didn't die or anything, I've just been super busy with school and stuff. We have four tests next week! I've been spending all of my time in the library. I probably won't be able to blog again till after next week is over. Here's an update on what's going on now!

Obviously, nursing school has gotten super hectic. I passed my bed bath and vital signs tests, which is a relief. We don't have another test like that for another few weeks, which will be a nice break. I can't believe we start clinicals in two weeks! We went to the hospital yesterday to go over computer charting. I totally fell asleep! I was pretty exhausted though. Monday was really rough, so of course I didn't sleep well that night. I paid for it on Tuesday!

I've developed some good friendships! Some of us have been hanging out outside of class and we've had a few study sessions together. Hopefully I'll be able to go to the homecoming game this weekend with them! It'll be my first football game since my freshman year of college, and it's a rivalry game. I'm kind of excited!

Even though NewTown University reminds me of a high school, I'm starting to get used to it. Camping out in the library helps to get away from all the silly jocks that hang out in the student center. I'm surprised at how much work I get done in the library. Today, I read 300 pages for nursing interventions, did two chapters of patho vocab, and started on a unit outline for my patho test next week! Tomorrow, Friday, Saturday AND Sunday will be spent in the library doing work. I really want to be prepared for all my exams next week, especially patho. Nobody did well on our first exam, I got a 75%, which is considered a D. The class average was a 60%! (That's an F in the nursing program!) I want to make sure I do everything I can to do well on this exam. I feel so studious! I'm slowly learning how NOT to procrastinate and how much easier life is when you get stuff done way before the day before you need it.

I met a really nice guy in the library today. He's a baseball player and is SUPER SUPER SUPER cute! I've completely been enamored with him since Monday when I first saw him. He totally came up to where I was sitting and introduced himself (at the suggestion of my friend =] love that girl to bits!). We talked for a little bit about our majors, where we were from, y'know, the standard first conversation topics. I hope he's a nice guy!! I completely made a fool out of myself, (have I ever mentioned that I can't flirt to save my life?) BUT he asked for my phone number! AHHHHHH!! I will definitely keep you posted on what happens!

Maybe NewTown's gonna be just fine, after all.

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Homework and irritability.

Hey everyone! Sorry I've been out of commission lately, nursing school has definitely been piling on the reading and the homework! I was also out of town and away from my computer over the weekend, so I didn't have anything to blog with.

These past three days have been obnoxious! I had a (seriously stressful) test yesterday, a quiz this morning AND a paper due today. The test yesterday was really hard, plus it didn't help that our professor changed a lot of what we needed to study FIVE HOURS before the exam was to be distributed! Next week looks to be even more challenging. There are more papers, quizzes, and exams to do next week than anyone should ever have to have in their lifetime! I also had a doctor's appointment today and have discovered that I've lost 6 lbs. in a month! 119.5 lbs doesn't look good on a 5'7" frame. Might need to make some brownies tonight!

I am starting to get really irritated with anyone who complains about how much homework they have. Seriously? You've got it easy! You can go out on the weekends! You don't sit day and night studying! Seriously, sit the fuck down and be glad you don't have three tests next week. BE GRATEFUL you weren't up till 0200 writing a paper and doing your reading for the next day. BE GRATEFUL that you can afford to skip reading a chapter or two before going to class. BE GRATEFUL you can skip class and nobody notices. BE GRATEFUL for the spare time you have now, because it may not be there once you start your particular professional program. Always remember that someone has it worse than you. I swear, the only people that work harder than us nursing students are those in med school and law school and I will never, EVER say I have it worse than them.

This past weekend I went to Anytown to get my hair cut and buy some fall clothes. I spent most of Saturday early afternoon there. I went to the big city around 5 and stayed with L at her work until she got off at 10. We went to the local hookah bar until she left at 11, then I went to the other hookah bar down the street until almost 2. I ran into my ex, which was really surprising considering it was a Saturday night and everyone said he wouldn't be there if I went after 11:30. Whoops! Haha.

I stayed the night with a friend's family and spent most of Sunday reading. I met up with L again later that afternoon and we went to eat. Afterwards, we went to the hookah bar that I saw my ex at, then high tailed it over to our regular haunt after getting some pita and hummus. I really enjoyed my time with L this past weekend. She's definitely someone I hope to stay friends with while I'm stuck here in NewTown.

I'm beginning to form relationships in NewTown, something that I didn't expect to happen so quickly. I'm becoming close with some of the girls in my nursing classes. It's such a fantastic feeling! I often felt like I had transferred straight back to high school when I started school, but now I'm finding my place and don't feel so awkward anymore. Maybe this won't be so bad after all =]

I guess my wise words for this post are to remember that someone always has it worse than you, so don't complain too much. Keep friends around in times of stress, and always have advocates by your side.

"A friend is one who believes in you when you cease to believe in yourself."

This is me, and I'm just alive.

Number Eleven.

I had a fabulous (and relaxing) Labor Day weekend! I slept most of the weekend, so consequently I got ZERO homework done. That's totally ok, though, since this week is kinda slow.

I went out with B to her boyfriend's place this weekend! First time going somewhere different in a loooong time! I got to observe a power "half-hour" and eat some super delicious home-cooked ribs! I had a ton of fun just hanging out with B and all her friends.

My family and I also celebrated my dad's birthday this weekend. His birthday was last week, but I was stuck in NewTown. We went out to this seafood place and then to a custard stand for dessert. I haven't had custard in so long! It was almost too sweet. I swear I felt the sugar granules on my tongue.

Yesterday was a "me and B" day. I got my nose pierced! That's piercing #11! B and another friend (let's call her L) went along. B and I also got some groceries and I made pineapple blueberry crunch cake! B and I shared some with the security guard at her building. I think he was pretty excited about the cake. Haha! B, L and I met up at the local hookah bar for some serious girl talk and a much needed grape hookah. I think we make a great trio!

I also got not one, but TWO independent reports that my ex cheated on me before we broke up. Both people said the same thing happened, only one of the informants caught them in the act. The other was there after the fact and got the whole low-down from the girl it happened with. Anybody see some backwards logic here? (See 28 August blog if you're confused.) As fucked up as it is, I can say I'm honestly not surprised it happened.

Hanging out with B yesterday was really an adventure. We got to talk a lot about anything and everything. I'm so lucky to have her in my life! She's been my rock since around March. We share so many similar experiences and having her be a full eight months ahead of me in the journey of moving forward is SUCH a blessing. <3

I got back to NewTown this morning. I unpacked my car and subsequently collapsed on the couch for a two hour nap. I got up, unpacked the luggage and boxes, put everything away, and did some housework and homework. Afterwards, I went to pathophysiology. Now I'm sitting here blogging while I should be writing a paper that's due tomorrow afternoon.

Here's my wise words of the day: If you're going to cheat, at least be freakin' honest about it, or be smart about it. For God's sake, if someone finds out, don't think they're NOT going to tell someone! Even though I found out after the fact, I still found out. If you find out your significant other has cheated on you, remember the phrase "If he hits you once, he'll hit you twice." It applies to everything. Someone wrongs you once, there's a pretty good chance they'll wrong you again. Leave the arrogant fool and go find someone better! 

And another tip: If you're gonna drink, leave your phone somewhere that you won't send text messages you'll regret in the morning. A heartfelt message received at 0332 will NEVER be taken seriously. 

I can't believe Tuesday is already over.

This is me, and I'm just alive.